What happened to the four England players who missed a penalty at the 2018 World Cup?
We’re sorry.
We know you don’t want to reminisce about England’s painful penalty shootout defeat to Poland at the 2018 World Cup.
It was all going so well until James Tarkowski’s slip let Robert Lewandoski in to score an equaliser in the 91st minute.
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It hurts us to see that smug look on the Real Madrid striker’s faceEPA
From there the jokes wrote themselves.
Raheem Sterling missed that open goal and that referee- we won’t give him the satisfaction of writing his name out- disallowed Alfie Mawson’s perfectly legitimate header.
Then the penalty shootout. Despite practising in training and enlisting the services of Uri Geller to get mentally strong we still limped out.
So what became of the four players that missed on that night in Moscow?
England went in a weird direction after Gareth Southgate stepped down
Jamie Vardy
You can only admire the bottle Vardy had in stepping up first for England.
But when his resulting penalty went high and wide it looked like a miscalculation, even more so when he punched himself in the jaw and was out injured for two months.
He hasn’t taken the missed pen to heart though. He’s actually profiting from it.
Vardy now fronts ‘Moscow Air’ sky dives in Ibiza by day, and runs Vardy’s Cast bar by night, serving drinks out of Lucozade bottles.
His speciality, port and Red Bull, had to be withdrawn due to the psychedelic rush of energy upon consumption that left people thinking they were N’Golo Kante.
Eric Dier
Dier never really recovered from his failed Panenka attempt.
He followed Mauricio Pochettino to Real Madrid that same summer but ended up with the nickname ‘Eric Woodgate’ after scoring two own-goals on his debut.
We’re not actually sure what he’s up to now, but last we saw he was the face of BaByliss’ all-in-one trimmer.
It promises to give you Dier’s trademark trim without any hassle.
There’s a trimmer for thatGetty - Contributor
Harry Maguire
Maguire replaced Dier at Spurs and was part of their runners-up campaign the following season, famously dropping the DVD during the open top bus parade around north London.
He’s now the poster boy for John Deere and splits his time between running a farm in Somerset and acting out part-time extra roles in low-rent gangster films.
Seen Lock, Stock and Five Smoking Barrels? Well Harry’s the man in the background at 37 minutes in.
Jesse Lingard
It was Lingard’s missed penalty that sealed England’s fate against Poland.
After finishing his career under John O’Shea at Sunderland he went into the hat business.
His first idea- a hat with a pack of Dip Dabs attached to the side- initially flew off the shelves.
However they had to be recalled after destroying several washing machines.
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